My True Self: An Illustration

Mar 7

This post is in response to the following The Red Dress Club RemembeRED prompt: Imagine you are meeting someone for the first time. You want to tell them about yourself. Instead of reciting a laundry list of what you do or where you're from, please give us a scene from your life that best illustrates your true self.
I felt Baby's heart beating against my chest. Although he was attached to me in a carrier, I still kept one arm around him tightly as we ascended the mountain. I nuzzled the top of this head and softly narrated descriptions of the beauty of our surroundings.
"Look, Baby. There are tall trees all around us."
"Do you like the way the cool air feels on your cheeks?"
"Mama and Dada love you so much. They want to show you this beautiful place."
I matched my steps to to the cadence of my husband's stride ahead. He spoke over his shoulder every few steps, telling Baby silly jokes that made me laugh.
Although Baby had been on hikes with us before, this was the first time we planned an overnight trip with the main goal of hiking in the Berkshire mountains. I felt proud that we were exposing Baby to things that we love from such an early age: travel, nature, hiking, the beauty of the outdoors.
I let my mind wander as we walked steadily uphill, reveling in the soft sounds of Baby's breath against me, and marveling at the feelings of peace and contentment that seemed to undulate through me. I felt as if I had everything I needed. I never would have suspected that I could feel this way on a regular basis before Jeff and Baby came into my life.
As we neared the top of the mountain, I could see that we were approaching an incredible view, and a very precarious walk along the top ridge. Jeff held out his hand to me, and I grabbed it. Even with Baby's weight causing me to be slightly off center, I still felt confident sliding along the edge of the rock. Jeff held his arm out protectively, yet I couldn't help but lean forward to look down from the dizzying precipice.
I heard Sarah McLachlan lyrics echo in my head, and smiled at the appropriateness of my inner soundtrack: "It's a long way down to the place where we started from." Anxiety and uncertainty were no longer needed. "Serenity now," I thought with satisfaction.
Standing together at the top of the mountain, my husband whipped out the digital camera to take our trademark picture. I look satisfyingly at the camera as Jeff kissed my face. The stunning backdrop may have not made it into the self-portrait, but the real beauty of the picture was the addition of the little face peeking out from the spot right next to my heart.
We gazed out into the distance; three sets of eyes, all looking in the same direction, taking in the beauty of our world, and I felt gratitude.

Please check out my other RembereRED memoir posts:In This Moment: A Memoir of 5 Minutes In Loving Memory